Claire Flynn Boyle (cfbgoespop) wrote,
Claire Flynn Boyle
cfbgoespop

Claire and Alyson find out the kind of people who buy Jack Johnson albums

I've often said to people that the last thing on earth I understand, although given that compared to the general population I'm prettier, richer and more intelligent and so on my general public empathy is low, (Although not as good at building websites apparently - Fact Checking Tina T) , is why people still flock to buy certain albums. There's such a rich and diverse collection of musical treats out there, that if you want to watch, say, Chantal Goya be a rabbit, it's right at your finger tips.



I love how she gets visibly less enthusiastic as the song goes on. It's actually quite a story if you follow French. Alyson, if this isn't your first French song at this thing, I'm going to be grumpy.

Anyway, with such a rich and diverse collection of music spread around the Internet, there are still people who wake up in the morning and think, you know what, I'm going to take this 24.95, head down to my local CD emporium, and decide to buy an album by Jack Johnson. Quite a few people in fact, judging by the fact it's somehow been number 1 for 3 weeks. And sure, there are people who still find Funniest Home Videos funny. It doesn't make it right. If you don't know who Jack Johnson is, he seems to churn out album after album of these snoozy go nowhere boring tuneless dreary poems. Yes, it's music to drown yourself in the bath full of Radox to. And if you feel like a right thinking person for enjoying Chantal being a rabbit a lot more, why not come with us on the terrifying ride that is...

Claire and Alyson find out the kind of people who buy Jack Johnson albums

Alysons been nagging me for ages to take her to this Ice Bar in Melbourne and I've been all "Look, it's got a terrible reputation because there's this pushy bitch who makes everyone leave after 29 minutes and 59 seconds of their alloted 30 minutes" and she was all "Oh come on! It's been a big week for me! I did LVs at karaoke! PLEEASSEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" and I was all "No, they are rude!" and eventually after a week of arguing, she started pouting and I had to take her so she'd stop pouting and there's only so long you can look at her silly face before you feel bad. Besides, the Revelations didn't win Eurovision...

Anyway, we made a night of it, and about 3am, we were in a club that's pretty exclusive, and not in a wanker way like the ones in London. And to drive people out, the DJ goes from playing the kind of tunes you don't get in crappy clubs to playing exactly the kind of tunes you get in crappy clubs, ie, the Sneaky Sound System (Of all the Sound Systems in the world, surely the sneakiest - Fact Checking Tina T) . And anyway, from the far end of the room, all of a sudden this bloke starts throwing this gigantic, gigantic fit. I mean, tearing at the walls, and there's only about 4 people in there, and I'm throwing my own fit because this is supposed to be my exclusive club and someone in camoflauge clothing (I mean REALLY) is not only taking up my space but throwing a fit. Not that I blame him for throwing a fit to the Sneaky Sound System, but you know. So anyway, I'm trying to leave and find Roisin Murphy on my IPOD, and that's when Alyson points out that he's actually one of the bouncers at this place, who's taken bad drugs. She gathered this from one of the other 2 people in the club who in no way plays for the Western Bulldogs saying "Hey, isn't that one of the bouncers, he seems to have taken some bad drugs!" and he's really, really fighting the other bouncers, and as he's literally seconds from getting the kind of boot in the face that makes Neil Mitchell write an entire column about how awful and violent Melbourne is he's screamed out in a demented voice.

"PLAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY MORE FUCKING JACK JOHNSON! HIS ALBUM IS FUCKING AWESERMMMMMMMMMMM!"

And that was...

Claire and Alyson find out the kind of people who buy Jack Johnson albums

Drugs really are bad you know.

CFB
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