See, she wants everyone to send in videos of themselves so you can join in the Delta approved fun of her latest fun clip! I've been considering sending in a video of us telling our incredibly libellous Delta stor...
Sorry, we have SUCH legal trouble being the blog we really could be.
So anyway, when we aren't barred by legal advice from telling you Delta Goodrem stories, the back up plan is to cut our arms and find out if we are bleeding love, and that back up to that is Claire goes crazy on a tram with tourettes style abuse about how much she hates Alicia Keys and the back up to that is...
Alyson and Claire find out if it's too late to Pologize
Scientific experiment: To find out if it's ever too late to Pologize, as that bloke with the pool cue jammed up his arse from One Republic and Timbaland (now 87% pecan pie) claim. Since that song is now apparently the 2008 version of Umbrella (ELLA! ELLA! EY! EY!) in terms that no matter where you go (even NIGHTCLUBS ffs!) you end up hearing it, we thought we'd put that sentiment to the test.
Time of Pology: Instant
During a friendly game of darts, Alyson deliberately knocks over a small childs coke, and makes it look like an accident. Claire is suspicious given Alysons natural clumsiness if this is part of experiment. Alyson apologizes instantly, and buys new coke. All is fine.
Time Of Pology: 5 minutes
Alyson abuses staff member at Starbucks for the prolonging of Paul McCartneys career. 5 minutes later, with shop staring at her, she pologizes as she is having a bad day. Staff sort of accept. However, possibly spit in Alysons coffee. And appear to play Paul McCartney loudly.
Time of Pology: 1 day
Alyson and Claire steal a gnome. One day later, Claire rings up old lady and says she was drunk and took a gnome and wants to return it. Old lady thinks Claire stole a mole. Much hilarity ensues. Everything is forgiven.
Time Of Pology: 5 days
Claire deliberately tapes over Tina Ts NBA basketball tape. Tina T is pissed off, and TSKs Claire. Claire apologizes. Tina T TSKs again. Claire suspects that if she doesn't produce replacement copy, TSKing may continue.
Time Of Pology: 5ive years
Alyson asks Claire to apologize for stupid story she wrote 5ive years ago here about 80s Pop stars working for the government. Claire throws box of Smarties at her.
Time of Pology: 8 years
J pologizes to her Mum for her incessant wailing when she was two, and offers to cook dinner. Js Mum gives her a hug. J gets her posse to make the dinner, and gets an X Box for being nice. J accused of selling out by Claire. Argument ensues. Neither pologizes.
Time of Pology: 20 years
Alyson finds and rings girl who abused her during game of "Bootball" at school for running her out. Girl is confused. Alyson suspects she is being flippant and rude. Alyson tells girl it's never too late to pologize. Girl wonders who's ringing. Alyson simply asks for apology. Girl screams WHO IS THIS. Alyson asks if fridge is running. Phone is hung up.
Result: Yes, sometimes, it definitely is too late to Pologize. Carry on about your business, bloke with pool cue jammed up your arse.