Thunder threatens everyone, but Collette just got home


Yes, we found the exact copy of Smash Hits from 1989 that was in our photo of Collette, and by god, it's a gem. By the end of page 3, there's articles previewing Dannii Minogue's upcoming appearance in Home and Away, a New Kids On The Block introduction (Jon is scared of the dark) and the exclusive news that Jason Donovan's album will be called Ten Good Reasons. There's also a picture of Amanda De Cadenet getting felt up by someone out of Brother Beyond! Neneh Cherry gets single of the week for Manchild, Madonna was #1 in the charts, and Roxette were #1 in New Zealand! However, that's not why we bought it. We bought it purely for the interview with the fabulous, the goddess, the queen of charity, Collette! And just for you, here's what the interview said! Aren't you lucky! Yes you are!



Headline: Collette - The Inside Story (TEE-HEE!!!!)

Tag: " ME on the cover os Smash Hits? I think it's great. Wow! I used to buy it when I was younger. I can hang it in my bathroom next to my Johnny Depp and Madonna posters! Hahaha...." Collette Roberts is excited! And why not? She's just made the cover of Australia's most pop-whizzy magazine, Smash Hits of course, not forgetting her rather ginormous contribution to the charts with "Ring My Bell"! Marc Andrews "ring-a-ling-a-lings" Collette's...er...bell and discovers that she's no Kylie Minogue on stilts!?!!

Collette Roberts is 21 years of age, a former model and cover girl, lived in such far flung territories as Japan, France and the U.S of A, (as well as having been born in New Zealand...) and has suddenly found herself Australia's newest superstar - courtesy of her version of an old seventies disco song, "Ring My Bell".

"I don't think it's all really hit me yet", she opines. "It's been great but the thing is that you have to almost start all over when you go back into the studio and try to repeat what you've done. I don't think it's quite hit me that the record's gone Top 10. I never even thought it would get there. I was just hoping it would get there. I was just hoping it would make the top 40 so that I could make another record and make some more dance music!"

The impetus for "Ring My Bell" came about when our gal, a self confessed "club person" was out at various nightspots and happened to notice the great reaction that "Ring My Bell" got when the DJ played the original version - by some black American songstress called Anita Ward (who subsequently disappeared right down the dumper). Collette decided that the song could do with being "brought up to date" and "modernized" and so went into a recording studio to lay down a demo of the song - took it to a record company and hey presto! she had a recording contract, made a single and became a star overnight!

As with everyone who suddenly finds themselves "famous" the obvious drawback occurs - everyone recognises you!!!

"I had this three-year-old girl come up to me in the street the other day and say "It's you, it's you, it's you! I've seen you on TV" - and then burst into tears. I have wives coming up to me and saying, "Oh this is my husband, he really likes you, can you sign an autograph for him?"

"I went into a newsagent to buy a lollipop - I really like lollipops - and I was just there to buy this 30c lollipop and then girl starts chucking a mental going "Oh my god it's Collette". Here I am standing there with my lollipop and she's going "What flavour would you like Collette?" and I'm going, "Oh, lime", and she's going "We also have orange and raspberry!" and I'm going "No, I'll just have lime thanks!

Did she give it to me free? Nah! I think she was too overwhelmed to as for an autograph too!"

So what is this elusive appeal that our "new sensation" Collette emits? Collette, herself, believes it's because she doesn't go in for expensive clothes and try to be something that she's not.

"I think Collette does appeal to everyone," she insists. "It's just me and it's not too far away from me. Anyone can dress like me. (Oh goodie! - Ed) A lot of girls out there can relate to me. I'm not wearing anything you can't buy or copy. I've really begun to notice that almost every girl about eight is wearing bicycle pants and a t-shirt. It's really funny!"

Well, now that Collete has been taken to the hearts of the nation in such a big way, she's going to have to put up with the inevitable comparisons to that other blonde Aussie super-singing-sensation - Kylie Minogue. In fact, one English magazine, reviewing Collette's record, referred to her as "Kylie Minogue on stilts"!!! That's something she's not too pleased about.

"If these people want to waste their time saying I'm Kylie then that's fine with me. I mean, sure we're both blonde and we're both Australian (Get away with you - 10,000 Kiwi readers!) but there's nothing else we have in common. I don't sound like her. I don't have music like her, I write my own stuff! What would I say to her if I met her? Ohhhh...what is she going to do later one and maybe ask her what she really thinks of her music! Ask her about Jason? Nah!"

Something else that Collette is currently having to contend with, is what song should she choose for her next single!?!! There seems to be a few options currently "floating" about the place. "We've done three songs of my own and once cover", Collette reveals, as she tries very hard to sit still behind a desk in her record company's plush offices. "We think the next single will be "All I Want To Do Is Dance" which I wrote and which is really good, really dancey and really fast. I remember when we were writing it, we were writing is over the phone."

Pardon! Now that sounds like an interesting story. Do tell us more pur-leease , Ms. Roberts!

"Well, it was just one of those situations were I was in Melbourne at the time and I came up with this great idea. I rang Pee Wee (Ferris - a quite well known "D.J" person who produces Collette's records) and said "Hey Pee Wee, I've got this great idea for a chorus" and so I sang him the chorus down the phone. The next day he rang back and said "Hey this is what I've got musically" and like, he played me the groove - the bassline - and I said "Oh yeah, that's good". I'd already written the verses and I sang them down the phone and he made a few changes. When we finally got together a week later and he played when he had, it sounded great. It's eighty per-cent surer to be the next single."

Collette's other two songs, "Party Time" and "Push", will both find their way to her debut album, due later this year. "Push", incidentally, is not a tribute to the Bros album of the same name. In fact the day of this interview is the very day that it is announced to the world that Craig Logan is no longer a welcome member of Bros. Sad, but true! Nonetheless, even with this tragic news upon her shoulders. Collette has chosen to, bravely, continue with her recording career!

So, then, Ms. Roberts what's this other song that you've got sitting around your house collecting dust which you've decided to "tart up" and "modernize" a la "Ring My Bell"? Collette suddenly becomes all coy! (Which is really something she's not oft to be seen doing. But, yes , here in her body hugging t-shirt with the required amound of fluorescent badges, her 501s and some natty shoes, she's being extremely cagey!)

"I can't tell you," she announces firmly. "Yes, it is another seventies disco song and it could be the second single. But I can't tell you any more than that. But, don't worry, I'll call you and tell you which one we pick!"

Well, we should jolly well hope so, eh readers! After all, if you are on the cover of "the best magazine in the world", you could at least give us the scoop! Watch this space, you haven't heard the last of Collette - not by any stretch of the imagination...of should that be cycling shorts!?!!

Ding-Dong!



If you can't be botherd reading the whole thing, here's a recap of the best bits

- Right down the dumper
- Chucking a mental
- "Too overwhelmed to ask for an autograph"
- Oh goodie!
- Kylie Minogue on stilts
- Natty shoes
- Eight year old girls in bicycle pants and a t-shirt
- The groove - the bassline
- "I write my own stuff!"

Brilliant...she's a goddess...

Alyson