Hi-5 the movie...with actual work done on it!


This is as far as we've got with Hi-5 the movie...the plan being to write the script, and then anyone who wants a cameo can fit themselves in to wherever they want! Hooray!

THE MOVIE

The Tagline: "They don't just play with puppets"

Starring

Kathleen De Leon: As Herself
Nathan Foley: As Himself
Tim Harding: As Himself
Kelli Hoggart: As Herself
Charli Robinson: As Herself

Shannen Doherty: As Marianne Buck
Sophie Ellis-Bextor: As Jennie Lomax
Claire Flynn Boyle: As Simone Thornley
Debbie Gibson: As Meja Hagman
Alyson Guard: As Julia Dayne
Paris Hilton: As Amanda Richie
Jessica Martin: As Avril Mathers
Ray Meagher: As Alf Stewart
Rob "Millsy" Mills: As Boof Hepburn
Tina Thomsen: As Herself
Ben Cousins: As Himself
Chanel Cole: As Herself

Click below to see our WIP...

UPDATED with 3 more scenes! Hooray for hard work and day wasting!
UPDATED again! With the now legendary "pub scene"
UPDATED a little tiny bit!
UPDATED with more bits!



FADE IN:

EXT. RAINING MELBOURNE ST, GRAND FINAL DAY
CUT TO:

INT. PRINCE ALFRED HOTEL, RICHMOND - EVENING

The bar is empty, more than a little run down. An Irish band plays softly in the corner. MARIANNE BUCK, a tired, jet lagged woman with a grumpy stare and a blue business suit, is drumming her fingers on the bar, and staring blankly ahead of herself. A BARMAN (played by JASON AKERMANIS) approaches her, washing a glass, and gesturing to a TV in the corner replaying the Grand Final.

BARMAN: You like football Miss? I play a bit myself...

MARIANNE: You call THAT football? Where I come fr...you know what, just keep the drinks coming...

BARMAN: You aren't from here are you? THAT is the game of the people round here!

MARIANNE: Spare me the Sam Malone banter and hit me with more tequila...oh, and tell me what else is on...

BARMAN: (deflated) I'll get the TV guide...

(MARIANNE notices a cute guy in the corner, and smiles in his direction. His girlfriend comes in and she scowls)

MARIANNE: To be a bitch or not to be a bitch, that is the question....

BARMAN: (Returning) There's the Simple Life on one channel...

MARIANNE: I HATE that bitch...next...

BARMAN: Um...there's low budget movies on SBS...boring chat on the ABC...and a Hi-5 marathon on 9...

MARIANNE: I've heard about this Hi-5...put them on...I'd like to see them in action...kids entertainment is the future you know...(sweetly)...oh and barkeep...

BARMAN: (Leaning over) Yes?

MARIANNE: WHERE'S MY DRINK?

BLACKOUT:

The opening credits roll over the song "Hide Your Eyes" and a live performance by HI-5. As the music plays, we cut to the kids in the crowd, dancing and singing to the song, and SIMONE THORNLEY, an assistant on the show, standing at the back with a clipboard, making sure the kids are in to the song. The song ends and Hi-5 wave to their fans

TIM: Hi, I'm Tim
CHARLI: Hi, I'm Charli
KELLi: Hi, I'm Kelli
NATHAN: Hi, I'm Nathan
KATHLEEN: Hi, I'm Kathleen
ALL: AND TOGETHER, WE'RE HI-5!

(The kids go off in response)

INT. Backstage - Hi-5 are sitting in chairs, except for Nathan, who is still bouncing around and eating a K Time Muffin bar

NATHAN: DID YOU SEE? Did you see? Oh man, they loved us and they did the dance! Oh this is the best! THE BEST!

KELLI: Wow, 2532 shows later, he still behaves like that!

TIM: I know! I lost my zing at show 1422...

NATHAN: Come on guys, what's the matter? I haven't seen you this depressed since we had to help on Bark Off!

TIM: Don't you ever get down...you know, don't you ever get tired...I mean, we go out, we dance around...don't you feel in a rut?

NATHAN: A RUT! NO! NEVER! I mean, I get to hang around with my BEST FRIENDS! Besides, I have a new entry in our "best pun" competition!

KATHLEEN: OK, what is it...

NATHAN: Well, I have this dog, and I'm training him to dive underwater and fight crime...he's called SCUBA DOO!

(Hi-5 laugh, except for CHARLI, who scratches her head)

CHARLI: I don't get it...

(SIMONE THORNLEY, the epitome of a new girl trying to impress enters. She has a pink T-shirt on and jeans, and is intently studying her clipboard. She looks nervously at the group and fixes them with an awkward smile)

SIMONE: (Nervously) Great...um...show guys...really...great...anything you need?

KATHLEEN: (Muttering) A replacement so I can go home and get some sleep...

SIMONE: Come on guys...the tours coming up...(excitedly) I got you a Hi-5 painted bus! With your faces on it...

KELLI: Well, that's appropriate, we can't face another tour Simone....look, we're sorry...it's just been a slog to get through these shows...well, apart from him...

NATHAN: (Excitedly) LOOK! They gave us M&MS! FOR FREE! Just for doing the show! Isn't it exciting!

KELLI: ANYWAY...we'll do the show, we're pros...but it's exhausting...

CHARLI: HA!

TIM: Ha?

CHARLI: SCOOBY DOO! I get it! See, he's a dog...he fights crime...it's a classic!

KATHLEEN: Three months of that to go...I could have made a classic album with my fiancee, but NO...

SIMONE: Come on guys...what about the kids!

(MARIANNE enters, silently into the room)

MARIANNE: Forget the kids...I say, what about the next step?

TIM: And you would be...

MARIANNE: American, but that's not the point. The point is, I know how you guys can make much, much more money...doing 1/5th of the work...

KATHLEEN: Simone...can you get us 6 teas...I think we might like what Miss American has to say...

TIM: YEE-HAH!

EXT. A large, unmarked white building in the centre of Melbourne

CUT TO INT. A laboratory . MARIANNE motions for Hi-5 to sit at a viewing gallery. TIM and KELLI go to sit on the same seat and argue over it. NATHAN is sucking a Chupa-Chup and smiling inanely. Once HI-5 are seated, MARIANNE pushes a button and flicks up the curtain to reveal a large round room, in the middle of which stands ultra-English scientist JENNIE LOMAX, in a blue dress, and ticking things off a list...

MARIANNE: (Pacing behind Hi-5) Martin Amis once said every performer hopes or boldly assumes that his life is in some sense exemplary, that the particular will turn out to be universal.

(Hi-5 look blank, except Kelli, who nods deeply)

KELLI: What, just because I'm in childrens entertainment I can't be well read?

MARIANNE: I'm here to offer you that universal. What I'm saying to you is that the routine of the human performer isn't practical. Ms Lomax, if you would please...

JENNIE: (Poshly) Indeed...you see, the trouble with you 5 is that to perform you need sleep, you need food, you need drink, you need, to be blunt, rest, you need to be trained in your dance steps...it's just not time efficient...

NATHAN: So...we shouldn't eat?

JENNIE: In a fashion....

(NATHAN eyes his Chupa-Chup suspiciously)

MARIANNE: What we're SAYING is that there's a much better way...behold...the Hi-5 robots!

(JENNIE LOMAX pushes a button and out rolls 5 impeccable Hi-tech Hi-5 robots. Each of the robots rolls off a conveyor belt into formation as MARIANNE beams proudly and the Hi-5ers look in awe at the robots)

KATHLEEN: Wowwwwwwwwwwwww...

KELLI: It's like seeing double...

TIM: It's NOTHING like seeing double...

CHARLI: (Whispering to MARIANNE) He hated that movie...

(MARIANNE looks blank)

JENNIE: With this advanced robot technology, Hi-5 can be in 8, 9, 100 places at once! All over the world! We can make so much money! And you can still be the original Hi-5, but you can do much, much less work! Aren't they beautiful, my creations?

MARIANNE: And I can use my skills as a TV producer and agent to get you so many gigs...Letterman, Leno, those Italian shows with naked weathergirls...anything you want...just sign to my talent agency...

TIM: (Standing up, then sitting down, then standing up again) Look, I'm sure this is all very sweet, but we don't want to be represented by robots...and we have a very good agent...

KATHLEEN: We DON'T want this?

TIM: Well...NO...I mean, thanks for the offer, and Ms Lomax has gone to lots of trouble...but we're gonna have to pass...I think we'll keep going on our own...

KELLI: Thanks for the offer...come on Nathan...

NATHAN: Can I eat my Chupa-Chup now?

JENNIE: FINE...you don't want my creations! FINE...I'm leaving! AUSTRALIANS! Honestly.....

(JENNIE storms off)

CHARLI: (speaking to the camera) Wow, that's one MAD Scientist!

(Hi-5 laugh as they file out of the viewing area. MARIANNE watches them go and then presses a red button to speak to JENNIE)

MARIANNE: Don't feel bad Jennie...I have an idea...

EXT. SIMONE leads the Hi-5 kids onto a bus with their logo painted on it. KATHLEEN looks at the logo disdainfully. She looks longingly at the conservatorium of music across the road before getting on.

EXT. The Hi-5 painted bus drives to a school fete on a dull Melbourne day. They pull up as excited children from RICHMOND PRIMARY SCHOOL gather around the bus. NATHAN sprints off the bus, CHARLI smiles genuinely as she gets off, but KATHLEEN, TIM and KELLI are all wearing sunglasses and smile weakly.

NATHAN: A BOUNCY CASTLE!

NATHAN sprints off and bounces on the castle as KELLI and TIM look at each other wearily

CUT TO: A hastily assembled stage with a large crowd around it. On stage is RAY MEAGHER, who plays ALF STEWART in Home and Away, and TINA THOMSEN, who played FINLAY ROBERTS in Home and Away. RAY is chuckling at an anecdote he's just told that ends with "we sold it for three flamin' bucks", and the crowd are laughing too. CLOSE UP of a visibly bored KELLI yawning and stretching. TINA has organised this fete, and glances nervously at HI-5. SIMONE, seeing her, gives her an unsure thumbs up that all is well.

RAY: So anyway, I better shut me old trap up before me wife comes and gives me a clip around the ear. Just wanted to say, give generously to the school, and I hope you have a bonza day! Thanks Tina, thanks kids!

(RAY walks off to huge applause. TINA comes up to the mic as RAY sits next to KELLI)

RAY: (Whispering to KELLI) Top that you young upstarts...

TINA: Thanks Ray! And he didn't call anyone a flamin galah, so it must be going well! Now, I know the kids are excited, so who wants to see HI-5!!!!!!!!!

(SIMONE claps as KATHLEEN yawns this time, and puts on a diva style white fur coat. SIMONE looks deflated as only NATHAN is smiling)

TINA: So here they are...Hi-5!

(NATHAN bounds to the front of the stage as the other 4 file up dutifuly)

KATHLEEN: Um...thanks for coming...

KELLI: Yeah...it's great...to see...

RAY: (Shouting) SING A SONG YA MUGS!

(The crowd roars in approval. CLOSE UP of TIM mouthing "NO" to KELLI)

NATHAN: (Excitedly) We don't have anything prepared....but we'll give it a go...right GUYS!

CHARLI: (Shrugging) We could...

TIM: Um...we haven't got anything ready to sing...so...we'll just say goodbye now...and save Ringwood High!

TINA: (Seething) It's RICHMOND PRIMARY....

KELLI: Whatever...

(The crowd start booing as everyone except NATHAN leaves. RAY tries to stop them, but TIM pushes him, only for RAY to punch him on the nose).

CUT to this image on the front of the Herald Sun with "HI-5 DISAPPOINT KIDS" as the headline...

EXT. CUT to SIMONE, sitting on the pavement, with her head in her hands, watching a piece of the paper with that headline on it in the drain float past her feet

INT. Cut to HI-5 sitting around a boardroom table. AMANDA RICHIE, the impeccably dressed chief executive of Channel 9, is looking at the paper, hoping to say something positive, but sighing deeply...

AMANDA: Well...what have you got to say for yourself?

TIM: (With a bandage over his nose) Can you just re-hire Simone? I mean, it wasn't her fault...

KATHLEEN: Right, she was just...there...

CHARLI: Like Erika Heynatz in the Hothouse...she's just...there....

KELLI: What she means is, can't we rehire Simone?

AMANDA: I'd love to...but the network has made it's decision...

KELLI: But your dad runs this network! Can't you have a word to him!

AMANDA: Hey I didn't just get rich and famous because of who my dad is! I got this position based on hard work! But no...daddy says someone has to be accountable...I suggest you guys go on tour...and work out your personal issues. Especially you Kathleen. White fur coats are SO last year...oh, and here you've been consulting with Marianne Buck...don't...I HATE that bitch...

NATHAN: Hey, guys, let's talk about it...I mean, we're here, together...what's gone wrong? Remember show 532...how happy we all were...

KELLI: (Standing up)...Times change, people change...they get sick of your CHIPPER FACE CHEERINESS! God Nathan, don't you ever stop! It's like living with STINGRAY! And you Charli, why don't you EVER get a joke first time! And Tim, what's with the moaning about movies! No matter what we show, you hate it! And Kathleen, we KNOW you are dating the other one out of Savage Garden, so STOP...BANGING...ON...ABOUT THE ALBUM YOU COULD BE MAKING...and GET...

(KELLI realises everyone is looking at her)

KELLI: ....um...they are just little things...

AMANDA: Look, none of us want to be here...but here are your itineraries for the tour...let's be clear about this, your careers are on the line in this tour...disappoint any more kids, and it could be over...or worse, you could be on Channel 7...

(Even NATHAN visibly shudders as AMANDA hands out itineraries for the tour and then leaves)

TIM: I liked Down With Love, that was a good film...

KELLI: Just forget it....

EXT. Outside in the Channel 9 car park, KELLI is standing sulking with her back against the wall. NATHAN comes sprinting up to her.

NATHAN: Hey, someone needs to turn that frown UPSIDE DOWN!

KELLI: Nathan, do you remember when you were young?

NATHAN: (Grinning) Well, when I was seven, all I wanted to do was show my mum I could play the piano...

KELLI: How do you do it?

NATHAN: What?

KELLI: Be so...you...so...perky...

NATHAN: I don't get it...

KELLI: Why do you get so happy...doing this? Don't you get...tired?

NATHAN: NUP! I love performing, I love dancing, and deep inside I love the look on the kids faces when we perform...and I know deep inside...you do too...you've just go to find it again...

KELLI: WOAH! No hugging, no learning...

NATHAN: You'll get there...but hey, I hear the kids at the Maccas round the corner are gonna give Ronald McDonald a wedgie...wanna come help?

KELLI: Nah, you're right tiger, you go on ahead...

(KELLI watches NATHAN run off, and shakes her head, and smiles gently, before finishing her cigarette and checking her tour schedule)

(Music, "Everybody Sleeps" by Hi-5)
CUT TO INT. KATHLEEN'S bedroom

KATHLEEN goes to sleep, kissing a Savage Garden poster

CUT TO INT. TIM's bedroom
TIM is sitting in bed, watching a film

VOICE ON THE VIDEO: Come on Bilbo Baggins, we've got work to do...
TIM: Rubbish....just rubbish...

TIM goes to sleep

CUT TO INT. KELLI'S bedroom

KELLI picks up a CD of her old band the Teen Queens, smiles sweetly, then goes to sleep

CUT TO INT. NATHAN'S bedroom

NATHAN is in his Super Grover pyjamas, and is jumping up and down on the bed

CUT TO INT. CHARLI'S bedroom

CHARLI is fast asleep. Her itinerary is on her dresser next to a glass of water. A gloved hand goes to take it and almost knocks the glass of water over. The hands stops dead as CHARLI stirs.

CHARLI: (Talking in her sleep) Mhuh...it's a stick...it's brown and sticky...I get it now...

When it becomes apparent she's not waking up, the gloved hand takes the itinerary, and swaps it for a different one.

EXT. Of a local pub in the middle of nowhere. It has a swinging rusty sign. It's seen much better days. CLOSE UP of the sign, which then falls on the ground. Two old men (BERT NEWTON and CHARLES "BUD" TINGWELL) are sitting on a seat on the balcony outside, each with a beer in hand, discussing the issues of the day...

OLD MAN #1: I'd vote for Howard...
OLD MAN #2: I'd vote for Latham...
OLD MAN #1: Typical...

CLOSE UP of CHARLI'S face, pan to a shot of the old men looking bewildered as CHARLI carries two suitcases of stuff towards the pub, looks around, nods, grins, and goes inside.

OLD MAN #1: What were we talking about?
OLD MAN #2: Going inside...

INT. Of the pub, an absolute dive, with a jukebox in the corner, tattooed men playing pool, and chips all over the floor. The pub is all male, and Metaliica is on the jukebox. Two men are fighting in the bar. As CHARLI enters, everyone stops. A man stops drinking, pouring beer on his shoes, oblivious to the fact. The man playing pool fresh airs his shot. The men having the fight freeze like statues, one about to punch the other. CHARLI continues to struggle with her case. CHARLI goes up to the BARMAN (played by SHANNON NOLL)

CHARLI: Excuse me, is this the Perth Entertainment Centre?

BARMAN: Yeah love, this is it...

CHARLI: (Pulling a confused face and looking at the sky) Well, it's a little rougher than where we normally perform...is Tim here yet? (Nodding wisely) He's ALWAYS the first to get here!

BARMAN: (Smirking) Oh yeah...Tim...good old...Tim...he's here...

CHARLI: Great...I can't wait to perform!

OFF CAMERA VOICE: Does that mean yer the stripper for the night?

CHARLI: I don't get it...

BOOF HEPBURN: (Off Camera) He's having a lend of yer love...

(BOOF HEPBURN is an early twenties male with slight stubble and cowboy boots and hat. He glares sharply at the barman, who goes back to pouring drinks. Things go back to normal as Boof, the head male in the pub, slowly wanders over to Charli)

BOOF: There's no Tim here love...yer that Charli chick off TV aren't ya? Yer band aren't performing here...we had Men At Work once...we don't talk about it...

CHARLI: (Puzzled) That's so weird, it says RIGHT HERE on the itinerary there is where I'm meant to be! And the bus driver brought me here! I just though the others left later! I'm very confused!

BOOF: Well, if you are here...how about I show yer the sights...

CHARLI: Yeah! That's very gentlemanly...(pointing to the man who made the comment before)...and you, I just got that! Shame on you!

EXT. CLOSE UP of the Channel 9 logo

INT. CUT to a TV that is on in the Channel 9 board room. On it is an American news report read by a particularly cocky news reader, grinning hugely (PLAYED BY JOHN CENA)

NEWSMAN: And in today's odd spot, an Australian kids band was forced to cancel a show after one of it's members didn't turn up to a show. Hi-5 couldn't perform as Hi-4 after Charli Robinson failed to turn up to a show, but American TV producer Marianne Buck saved the day, by performing the show with...robots...the mechanised machines of dance proved such a hit, the original human band might be on the scrapheap...good to see American ingenuity saving the day again...in sports the Red S...

(AMANDA turns the TV off and stares icily at HI-5 who are sat around a boardroom table looking sheepish)

AMANDA: Well, I can't believe this...you didn't know until you got until the venue for the FIRST DATE of your make or break tour that one of your members wasn't coming...

KELLI: Well...we travel separately now...you know...separate buses...it's a new thing...

AMANDA: Oh that's great...so not only are you publically sulking at school fetes, but now you've lost a member...AND these damned robots are cleaning up! And have ANY of you tried to find Charli?

KATHLEEN: Um...we've mostly been asleep...you know...I've...(trailing off) been a bit busy...

AMANDA: Oh you'll have LOTS of time from now on! You're fired!

TIM: HANG ON! It wasn't our fault that Charli got lost!

KELLI: Yeah, can't we just replace her? I mean, if it's her decision to leave...

NATHAN: NO! WE are a TEAM!

TIM: No Nathan...look at us...we aren't...we are out step...maybe we should leave it to the robots...we're washed up...

AMANDA: Well the network is going to give you a chance. There's a young Swedish singer called Meja Hagman. If you can't find Charli, she'll step in. She's coming in tomorrow. If she doesn't work out...you'll have to split up...

NATHAN: But I've got a new pun!

KATHLEEN: Let's hear it then...

NATHAN: Well...I'm sorry guys...it's not the same without Charli....

TIM: How did things get so bad?

KELLI: Well, let's see what Meja Hagman brings...

NATHAN: Hey, do you guys remember that time we played on the Jay Leno show? And Jerry Seinfeld came to see us backstage? And then we performed for Bill Clinton? And then we got a pirate in the group?

KELLI: YOU IDIOT! That wasn't us! That was the Wiggles! That's a whole nother kids band!

NATHAN: AH...what a HILARIOUS mix up...eh guys....guys....guys?

AMANDA: Just...get it together! Somehow!

INT. A large warehouse, bare and spartan. MEJA HAGMAN is dressed entirely in black, and wearing a beret. She's intently tuning her guitar while KELLI and KATHLEEN watch her. NATHAN is trying to see how high he kick, but falls over. KELLI tuts as NATHAN lies on his back giggling. TIM enters and nods in MEJA'S direction.

KELLI: I can't believe you can't get me out of this. I mean it's so absurd I have to be here on a Saturday! It's not like I'm a defective or anything.

TIM: I'll make it up to you. Honey, ditching a concert to go shopping doesn't make you a defective. It just makes you...not a robot. What's the deal with her?

KATHLEEN: She's Swedish...

TIM: Shouldn't she be more...ABBA-esque?

MEJA: (Looking up) It is very difficult to concentrate with all this chitter-chatter...my songs require concentration...

TIM: (Apologetically) Sorry Meja...let's hear your song...

MEJA: (Singing) I'm so tired...I live inside your head...I know only you...You cast spells to cure people, and will never hurt a living thing, except my stained heart, which you crushed, and killed, and stomped on...

NATHAN: (Joining in cheerily) STOMPED ON!

KATHLEEN: Um...you do know this is an audition for a KIDS band Meja don't you?

MEJA: The kids need to know we live in a world of pain...a world of misery and that as soon as your born, you are closer to dying...

TIM: O...K...

NATHAN: Wow, someone needs to do more colouring in! Hey I know a song, ... "I take the Golden "An", and I put it in the tan van. I take it to Dan, who takes it to Fran. Yeah, that's the plan." "That's the plan?" "What, who said that?" "My name is Stan, I'm the man. You just got 15 years in the can for stealing the Golden "An". Let's go." "Aw, I shoulda ran."

(Everyone looks blankly)

NATHAN: (Proudly) It's from Sesame Street

TIM: (Beat) Face it guys...this was our last chance...if we don't find Charli, we're never gonna get our show back...

KATHLEEN: I thought we didn't want this...I thought we didn't want to keep going...

TIM: Well...let's find Charli first...then we'll work out what's going on...if Charli's in trouble, we have to save her...we're still the REAL Hi-5....

NATHAN puts a can of Pepsi on a shelf and turns around to tell a pun to KATHLEEN. JUP JUP appears, takes the can of Pepsi, then disappears. NATHAN turns around, sees his Pepsi is missing, pouts, then glares at MEJA.

EXT. KATHLEEN, TIM, and KELLI are walking ahead of NATHAN, who looks disappointed and who is holding his face...

KATHLEEN: You over-reacted...

NATHAN: She stole my Pepsi!

TIM: You didn't need to frisk her...

KELLI: She really didn't like that...

NATHAN: (Sulking) She owes me a Pepsi...

KELLI: Face it guys, it's over...we've lost...we can't fight robotics...

TIM: (Off camera) I think it's time to get...proper jobs...

NATHAN: NOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo...

Fade to black

Fade In

EXT. Of Boof Hepburns house, a country farm. A sheep ambles past the front door.

INT. At a table with a plastic tablecloth BOOF and CHARLI are sitting drinking tea. BOOF is trying to think of something to say, while CHARLI looks out of the window

POV Shot as CHARLI stares intently at a mounted deer head on BOOFS wall

BOOF: So...um...this is it...I got out the good tablecloth...

CHARLI: So I see...a cloth on the table is good...good feng shui...

BOOF: Ah...right...sorry mate, I don't know what feng shui is...I'm a country boy...and my mind works like lightning. One brilliant flash and it is gone.

(BOOF chuckles to himself as CHARLI looks confused)

CHARLI: Is there lightning coming?

BOOF: Er...have you got through yet...to your friends? Find out what's going on?

CHARLI: No, I can't get hold of them...and my bus driver hasn't come back yet...(pulling a puzzled face) it's all very puzzling!

BOOF: Well...I'd love to have you stay, I mean, there's a cattle muster next week, and the footy final next week, and a ho-down of some sort...but I think the most important thing is for you to get back to your friends...

CHARLI: I don't know...I might just stay here with you...and re-decorate!

BOOF: I don't know about that!

CHARLI: Well, I know lots of styles...I can tart the place up! Oh how exciting! There's Italian, there's Roman chic, there's Parisian...

BOOF: I've been to Paris mate, believe me, I'm not going back...not much to see...

CHARLI: Oh...well, at least let me re-do your house on feng shui lines...oh it'll be fun...

BOOF: No, yer right mate...listen, I know this girl, she's got a panel van, if yer interested, we can take yer back to yer friends...get you back to the big smoke...

CHARLI: But I don't smoke!

BOOF: Anyway, her names Julia...we'll leave tomorrow...in the mean time, we better get you a bed...

CHARLI: I stay at the Sheraton!

BOOF: Well, I'm sure this will be just as good...

(CUT to shot of CHARLI in a sleeping bag on the floor, looking up at a dog. She smiles nervously.)

EXT. A large white building, with a glass dome and BUCK INDUSTRIES in red letters on it

INT. MARIANNE BUCK and JENNIE LOMAX are sitting at a desk

MARIANNE: These projection figures are AMAZING! The Hi-5 robots are all over the world, performing, and the human Hi-5 can't compete! They can't even get booked at a school fair anymore! Phase 1 is complete!

JENNIE: I'm getting impatient! I want Phase 2 to begin!

MARIANNE: Patience Jennie...patience...2 weeks from today, we'll unleash Phase 2...and then we'll do what we do every time we unleash Phase 2...TRY TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD...besides, it was better than trying to make clones of him...

(MARIANNE points to a JOHN CENA robot in the corner, waving it's hand in front of it's face)

JOHN CENA ROBOT: You can't see me...word life...

JENNIE: Yeah, that didn't QUITE work...

EXT. Outside BOOF HEPBURN'S house, CHARLI has her bags packed as BOOF drives up in a Partridge Family style Bus

CHARLI: I'm SURE that's not a panel van!

BOOF: Nah, it's a bus mate...I thought a classy chick like you deserves something special!

CHARLI: Well, that's so sweet! Well, look, my friends are in trouble..we need to get the Hi-5 team back together! We HAVE to...

(CUT TO - Monkees style montage as CHARLI and BOOF rescue the Hi-5 gang. MUSIC - Come on Get Happy)

INT. TIM and MARGARET POMERANZ are discussing a movie on the Movie Show. MARGARET is nodding but TIM is giving a thumbs down. CHARLI and BOOF run on set, grab TIM by the arm and drag him off

INT. KATHLEEN is practicing her violin in her home. CHARLI and BOOF sprint in, BOOF picks up a Bach CD, looks at warily, and throws it away. CHARLI snatches the violin and grabs KATHLEEN by the arm and drags her away

INT. KELLI is now a traffic cop. She pulls over a car (a big black shiny car) driven by SHANNON NOLL. He gets out to dispute the ticket, but BOOF and CHARLI drag her away. SHANNON smirks, but KELLI sprints back and throws a ticket at him before being dragged off

EXT. NATHAN is still standing outside the same building from last time we saw him, and still yelling "Noooooooooooooooooooooo", BOOF just taps him on the shoulder, and NATHAN sees him, shrugs and walks off with him

INT. An empty Channel 9 studio with a white circular stage. Hi-5 are all sat on the stage, except NATHAN, who is playing with a bouncy ball, and CHARLI who is talking to the rest of them

CHARLI: Guys, what happened to us? Don't you remember the good old days? When it all was fun? When we didn't find it a chore? Don't you REMEMBER?

(There is silence)

NATHAN: DAMN IT...this bouncy ball is just too bouncy!

KATHLEEN: Charli, it's over...

NATHAN: WAITTTTTTTTTTT!

KELLI: I KNOW NATHAN! Your ball is too bouncy...we know!

NATHAN: NO! This is denounement!

TIM: Eh?

NATHAN: It's denounement! It's when things are at their lowest ebb! From here, things pick up! That's WELL KNOWN!

(Everyone looks at Nathan)

NATHAN: (Unsure) It's well known...

KELLI: Oh my god, he's right...

NATHAN: DUH!

KATHLEEN: Something will happen to start our ascension to the top! Any minute now!

TIM: You don't AGREE with him do you?

CHARLI: ABSOLUTELY! (Looking at the camera) I'm very confident! (CHARLI gives the camera a big thumbs up)

KATHLEEN: So...how long do we wait...

(JULIA DAYNE, a sharp suited American business woman comes in to the studio)

JULIA: Are you Hi-5...

NATHAN: DENOUNEMENTS ARE FUN!

INT. NATHAN is sitting at a desk, reading a paper. KELLI pulls it away and reveals a copy of Smash hits. JULIA motions for the other members of Hi-5 to sit at the desk.

JULIA: So you see, things are not lost. I'm confident that if we put on a big comeback special on American TV, if I use my connections, we can get rid of those robots

KELLI: Why do you want to help us?

JULIA: Let's just say our robotic technician, Ms Buck, isn't a friend of mine...I don't have a lot of time for her bosses scare tactics either.

NATHAN: Who does!

JULIA: Besides my little friend Avril here, my little cousin, she loves Hi-5, don't you Avril?

AVRIL: NO WAY! THEY SUCK! HA HA!

NATHAN: I like her...

KELLI: So what do we need to do?

JULIA: Just get back in shape, and work together as a TEAM, that's what I want. The old gang. I'll take care of the rest. We're gonna get you guys back to the top of the mountain.

KELLI: That sounds...

NATHAN: LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOKKKKKKKKKKKKK!

KATHLEEN: Sit down Nathan!

NATHAN: NO! VANESSA AMOROSSI IS DIGGING A DITCH!

(Everyone rushes to the window)

AVRIL: I CAN'T SEE!

NATHAN: HA HA! Shorty!

(Avril punches Nathan in the leg)

CHARLI: You know what this is...

TIM: An omen...we don't want to end up digging ditches...

NATHAN: Remind me again about how I love kids!

INT. A Channel 9 studio waiting room. Underneath a large Channel 9 logo, HI-5 sit nervously listening to a pushy PR woman (played by NELLY FURTADO) running through a checklist...NATHAN is pinned against a wall looking terrified...

PR WOMAN: And Mr Cousins won't be answering any questions...Mr Cousins won't be involved in any photographs...Mr Cousins won't be involved in any product placement...

(BEN COUSINS comes up behind the PR Woman)

BEN COUSINS: Oh come on lady! I'm happy to do all those things! It's MY cove! And we're just having a laugh! Come on...eh...cheer up...(whispering) I hear that some people are hassling Kerri Anne for an autograph...

PR WOMAN: We'll see about THAT!

(The PR WOMAN runs off)

BEN COUSINS: I can't have anyone working for me who doesn't just like have to have a laugh! (Shaking Hi-5's hands) G'day, I'm Ben...you guys just relax, the show pretty much runs itself! It's just chaos! Don't let Rick The Rick Eagle see you looking sad!

(NATHAN pins himself against the wall even further)

KATHLEEN: (Conspiritorially) He's a bit afraid of Rick the Rock Eagle...

TIM: He's uncomfortable about mascots since the Toorak Fair incident of 97...

NATHAN: I don't want to talk about it!

BEN: (Looking at Nathan) Awww! Come on little fella! He's not scary! He just likes a muck around and a play! Just like we all do at the Cove....eh....eh...ah, you'll be right...you can be in charge of cooking up a storm! How about that?

NATHAN: (Genuinely in awe) YEAH!

BEN: Listen, I gotta go, we've got Alanis Morrisette on the show, I've gotta go make sure she's cheerful! SEE YA!

CHARLI: See, how does he manage it? Being that cheerful?

NATHAN: COS HE'S BEN COUSINS!

KELLI: We need a cooking segment...

(CUT TO opening credits of Ben Cousins Cove)

(Theme music with a jaunty STEPS vibe)

Some days we're having a goss
Some days we're having a laugh
Some days we're cooking up a storm on the stove
But it's always a laugh
We're just having a laugh
Chatting up a storm
At Ben Cousins cove! </b>

INT. Ben Cousins is sitting on the set of BEN COUSINS COVE, the #1 kids show in the land...

BEN COUSINS: G'day kids! Welcome to a special edition of Ben Cousins Cove! We're having a footy themed day here at the cove! Mind the footies flying around! Come here Rick...Ha ha! He fell over! Someone tell the umpire! I've got my footy jumper on, obviously WEST COAST! Go EAGLES! And we've got Hi-5 over in the kitchen cooking up a storm! How are you guys!

NATHAN: BAD!

BEN COUSINS: Bad? No one is allowed to be bad on the cove! What's wrong mate!

NATHAN: Your parrot stole all my peanut butter!

PERCY: SQUAWK! PIECES OF NUT!

NATHAN: YOU LITTLE F...FLIGHTLESS BIRD!

BEN COUSINS: Ha Ha! Those two should settle things with an arm wrestle! Well, an arm to wing wrestle! Rick, go and officiate!

NATHAN: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

(NATHAN runs away as RICK tries to catch him)

BEN COUSINS: HA HA! Fantastic! Is it footy day or tripping over day? It's just non stop chaos at the Cove!

EXT. At the front of the building, outside the Channel 9 studios, MARIANNE is pacing up and down, smoking a cigarette. JENNIE looks at her disdainfully. They are both watching a Buck industries truck unpack the Hi-5 robots. Some kids are watching earnestly.

JENNIE: Hey! You can't smoke! There are children around!

MARIANNE: Yeah...so?

JENNIE: Never mind...I'm just feeling a bit tense...

MARIANNE: Don't be tense...do you see me being tense? People are tense when they bottle up their anger! You should let it out more...like I do...

JENNIE: I've never seen you angry...

MARIANNE: I pick my moments...

EXT. Round the back, in the parking lot of the Channel 9, Hi-5 are meeting up with SIMONE, their one time personal assistant.

SIMONE: I appreciate the offer guys, but I've got a new job...I'm working on the Girlfriend re-union tour...I think they've got a shot at making it...

NATHAN: Girlfriend? WOW!

(Everyone looks at him cooly)

NATHAN: They are GREAT! WE'RE GIRLS AND STANDING TALL!

KATHLEEN: Anyway...

TIM: Look, as long as you're doing OK...but at least come to our comeback special...we owe you that...

CHARLI: Yeah! It'll be great! You can sing a song...

SIMONE: Oh, I'm not a very good singer...

NATHAN: No kidding!

(Everyone looks at Nathan)

NATHAN: What...she sucks!

SIMONE: I'll think about it...take care guys...

(SIMONE shakes hands with the gang. She walks around the front of the building. She looks nervously at the robots and sighs. She's about to walk off when she sees Marianne and Jennie talking, and crouches down to listen)

MARIANNE: So how soon until we can put the plan into action?

JENNIE: Third song on tonight's edition of the Chanel Cole Variety Hour. We've got the robots programmed to begin the mind control on the second line of "Boom Boom Beat"

MARIANNE: And you're SURE it'll work?

JENNIE: As sure as I love the idea of ruling the world......sorry, you do a better evil laugh than me...

(MARIANNE does an evil laugh as SIMONE looks terrified)

INT. Inside a boardroom, SIMONE is sitting at the head of the table, recounting what she's heard to Hi-5 and JULIA, while AVRIL is playing in the corner with crayons

SIMONE: I'm telling you...the robots are going to try and take over the world for Marianne...on the second line of Boom Boom Beat, some sort of mind control is going to take over the world! I heard it! Tonight! On the Chanel Cole Variety Hour!

(Everyone looks sceptical)

SIMONE: It's true!

KELLI: Why would she do that?

CHARLI: Why does anyone want to do that?

AVRIL: DUH!

(Everyone looks at Avril)

AVRIL: Why does ANYONE want to rule the WORLD! COS it'd be WICKED! You could do what you WANT! You could get free CRAYONS and then you could say to people GET ME A MILO and they'd have to do it! It'd be SO much fun! (Casually) Course, I already RULE the world...

NATHAN: You went outside the line!

AVRIL: DID NOT!

TIM: But she's right you know...it would be great...but we have to respect the boundaries...if ruling the world fell into the wrong hands...

KELLI: We have to stop it!

NATHAN: But HOW...

(Nathan slumps forward in mock tiredness)

JULIA: Fear not little one...now that we know what they are up to, we can stop it...obviously, we can't cancel their appearance, Chanel wouldn't allow it...and it's too late to cancel the show...and obviously the press will laugh us out of town...

CHARLI: I might be able to help...but we need to work together as a team...do you think we can do that?

TIM: We don't have a choice...

JULIA: Guys...you HAVE to work as a team...it's not going to be easy...but if we all pull together...we CAN still stop this...

NATHAN: (Rising up!) Hee Hee...I had a cool dream...

AVRIL: YOU are SO SILLY!

NATHAN: You went outside the lines again!

AVRIL: DAMN IT!

NATHAN: Ha ha!

INT. Set of the CHANEL COLE Variety Hour. Close up of several flustered men struggling with various pieces of equipment. MARIANNE is watching idly from side stage. KATHLEEN AND SIMONE are watching her from the other side of the studio...

KATHLEEN: This reminds me of that film...you know, Spy Kids...

SIMONE: Spy Kids?

KATHLEEN: Yeah, Tim hated it...his face when I go...

(She breaks off mid sentence)

KATHLEEN: Just a funny memory...

SIMONE: See...that's what all this about...you guys coming together...

KATHLEEN: I thought it was so we saved the world...

SIMONE: I'm into subtexts...so what's the plan?

KATHLEEN: Well, hopefully by now, Charli has re-programmed the robots, and we'll take care of Marianne....Tim and Kelli can deal with the Jennie Lomax...

SIMONE: What's Nathan doing?

EXT. NATHAN and AVRIL are in a childrens ball swamp, throwing balls at one another

EXT. A massive white truck, inside which are the 5 Hi-5 clone robots. CHARLI is looking at her robot closely, while BOOF HEPBURN is working on some wiring...

CHARLI: Do you think they caught my likeness?

(CHARLI knocks on the robots head)

CHARLI: It looks...chunkier than me...am I chunky?

BOOF: Nah mate...you look fine to me...I've been meaning to as...

CHARLI: Cos I think if I was doing a robot me, I'd make it more...pink...can you get Pink Metal? Hey...we should call our next album Pink Metal...

BOOF: Anyway, I've been meanin...

CHARLI: And then once the robot plan is revealed, we'll be famous again! The PINK METAL TOUR! Oh wow! Sorry...I'm blithering on...where you trying to say something?

BOOF: (Deflated) Just that the wiring is done now...hopefully instead of hypnotising the kids...actually I don't know what might happen...I mean, I can re-wire a car...worked on Dads 78 ute when I was younger...but robots...that's a whole nother kettle of fish!

CHARLI: Do you have that in the country?

BOOF: What?

CHARLI: Fish in your kettles? That's a bit cruel!

BOOF: No...it's just an expression...

CHARLI: (To camera) Thank GOD!

BOOF: So I guess we've done our part...all we can do now is...she how the others do!

(Montage)

(Song: "Come on Get Happy" by the Partridge Family")

NATHAN and AVRIL throw balls at each other until a different kid appears. They look at each other, and start pelting the balls at the kid.

BOOF is longing longingly at CHARLI, who is still obsessed with her robot, trying to flick it's fringe into position.

MARIANNE is looking really bored, sitting in a chair, rocking back and forth. She sees an episode of CHARMED with Rose McGowan and looks disgusted

JENNIE is pacing up and down, looking anxiously at her watch...TIM runs up and puts a sack over her head, and a struggle ensues. KELLI hits her with a mop, and TIM looks bemused. KELLI shrugs and pushes her back with the mop.

INT. Inside one of the offices of Channel 9, NATHAN, AVRIL, KATHLEEN, TIM and SIMONE are looking at JENNIE, who is tied to a chair

NATHAN: So WHAT do you know HUH? WHAT DO YOU KNOW!

AVRIL: You benny! That's a statue of Graham KENNEDY!

NATHAN: Aw yeah...ha ha...

JENNIE: So are you the brains of the operation...

NATHAN: I can be! Given the right task!

KELLI: (Soothingly) He's very good at picking jelly bean flavours...

AVRIL: He IS!

TIM: (To Camera) It'd be a PRETTY unlikely scenario where THAT skill is required!

(JENNIE tuts)

KELLI: So spill it posho...what's the deal! What's with all the robot malarkey!

JENNIE: I have NO idea what you are talking about...

AVRIL: Bad scientist! BAD! BAD!

(JUP JUP returns and gives NATHAN back his Pepsi from earlier. NATHAN turns around to see his Pepsi, and looks very confused before shrugging and smiling)

JENNIE: They are just happy, smiling, dancing robot versions of you, with a much better work ethic...and tying people up with rope and shoving at a mop at them is frightfully gauche...

SIMONE: I heard you talking...I know what you're up to...

JENNIE: Awww, the little shy girl has something to say...

SIMONE: (Mardily) LISTEN MISSY...I've lost my job...now I'm running around like a major benny because of you and your stupid antics...I'm getting a little bit sick of your smug self serving posh girl attitude, so just tell us what we need to know, and we'll get to the end of this magical mystery a little bit sooner!

(Everyone looks at Simone in shock)

SIMONE: Hey...that felt pretty good...

NATHAN: You should do it more often!

SIMONE: (Impressed) I should...

JENNIE: Well my designs for the robots basically started with the absolute basics...your own PCB plus surface mount components will result in the smallest, most packed circuit, so you can probably make the robot
something like 3x3x1" (7x7x2) or such, but - obviously -I don't recommend it for now. This is because you will need an exact project, which, without building a prototype, can be problematic...but I don't need to tell you that do I...

(Everyone looks blank)

JENNIE: It seems I do...

AVRIL: BORING!

JENNIE: (Sniffing) Anyway, I was able to take such basic specifications, and create super robots that looked essentially like you all, but replicated your personalities. And when Marianne saw them, she saw an easy way to make money...simply divide the original members, get them bickering, and then we'd clean up...and once your public had embraced your robot clones...it was simple to get them to appear on Australia's most popular show, and launch phase 2...

SIMONE: The hypnotising?

JENNIE: Precisely...however did you get sacked with your brains...

TIM: So how do we stop it?

JENNIE: Well I'm not sure that you can my dears...

AVRIL: YEAH WE CAN!

KELLI: We've sent someone in to rewire the robots right now!

JENNIE: (Smiling) A qualified technician?

TIM: (Sheepishly) A mechanic...

AVRIL: He fixed my scooter!

NATHAN: Your scooter broke?

AVRIL: YOU broke it BAD boy!

NATHAN: Ha Ha...

JENNIE: But it's not the wiring that's going to set it off...you can wire the robots to do the Macarena to Chewing Gum by Annie, it makes no difference my dear, it's Marianne who controls them, by voice...and she's under guard...

SIMONE: Guard?

EXT. Outside a heavily fortified office, BOOF and CHARLI are pressed up against a wall, as a robot version of the WIGGLES are marching towards them

CHARLI: I thought the Wiggles were nice! Shame on them!

BOOF: It's robots tiges...they must have cloned them too...

CHARLI: At least they made our robots nicer!

BOOF: I have an idea...hey guys...hot potato!

(The WIGGLES robots turn around, start chanting "HOT POTATO" and head off doing the Hot Potato dance)

BOOF: Even robots can't resist doing that...too darn catchy...

CHARLI: Hmmm...I think it's a bit cheesy, we'd never do a song like that...we have fun AND educate...

BOOF: It's educational about...hot potatos? Anyway I've been meanin....

CHARLI: Hot potatos? They just repeat that phrase over and over again...anyway, we gotta go, before they end the song!

BOOF: NO...I don't care about the robots! I don't care about being placed in mortal danger! I don't care if they come back and rip my head off!

CHARLI: (To Camera) Well I care!

BOOF: I love you Charli...I love you...I can't stop thinking about you...hell, I want you to be my wife...yer the best thing that's ever happened to me...and even if this goes horribly wrong, I'll still love you...

MARIANNE: (Stepping out from behind the door with a gun) Awww...that's cute...lucky for you, things have gone horribly wrong...inside...NOW...

INT. The Chanel Cole crew are busy finalising preparations for the Chanel Cole Variety Hour, as Chanel inspects the Hi-5 robots carefully.

CHANEL: (Pointing to the robots) Are they ready to go?

MARIANNE: Oh yes, they are totally ready to rock and roll. I think you'll be hypnotised by their performance.

CHANEL: Do you think I could duet with them?

MARIANNE: Of course...just let them get through Boom Boom Beat, and we'll take it from there...

CHANEL: Cool...I look forward to it...

CHANEL walks off smiling, as MARIANNE pulls out a walkie talkie and tries to talk to JENNIE

MARIANNE: Everything working Jennie?

(There is only static)

MARIANNE: Jennie? Come in Jennie?

(More static)

MARIANNE: Eh...she's served her purpose...

INT. A room with JENNIE in it, tied to a chair with the walkie talkie out of range. She hears the message and tuts loudly, then stares angrily into the middle distance.

EXT. A large white door with JANITOR on it

INT. A white room with CHARLI and BOOF tied back to back by flimsy rope. BOOF looks deflated and CHARLI is smiling sweetly and blissfully.

CHARLI: (To camera) Well, no one is going to forget our FIRST date!

BOOF: I let you down, I'm supposed to protect ya.

CHARLI: You were very brave! Don't cut yourself up about it! Just chill out!

BOOF: I can't chill out, even while I'm young! I was supposed to go in and rewire the robots! And I failed! It's my fault the world is about to end!

CHARLI: Listen here! You didn't fail...we did! Hi-5 did! If we had our stuff together - we'd have easily beat her!

BOOF: I guess...

CHARLI: HEY! You were supposed to say it was no ones fault! (To camera) MEN!

BOOF: Well I guess we're pretty helpless now!

(A big boot crashes through the door and NATHAN falls over into the room, giggling as AVRIL and SIMONE follow him through)

NATHAN: Awwww...ace!

AVRIL: You benny!

CHARLI: What are you guys doing here!

SIMONE: We came to save you! We were waiting for you to come back - the only way to stop the robots is to get the codeword out of Marianne! She is the only one who controls the robots!

TIM: (Rushing in) Only OTHER one who controls the robots...

INT. The same ROOM as before, with JENNIE still tied up to the chair. JENNIE looks tired and sad as NATHAN picks up the mop again and points it at her.

NATHAN: Don't make me use this again!

JENNIE: I can't believe after all I did for that dreadful wench, she just dismisses me! This glory was OURS - I can't believe it...

KATHLEEN: Don't worry about it...we all think people are our friends from time to time when they aren't...we all have our heads turned...

NATHAN: Let me MOP her!

JENNIE: I want to help stop her...I can help you...

SIMONE: How do we know it's not a trick?

KELLI: Yeah! Exactly! I was waiting outside, I didn't see you hear this message...

JENNIE: Trust me...I'm so upset...I'm happy to help...

KELLI: Hmmmm...what do you think Tim?

TIM: We don't have much to lose...

CUT TO The Opening Credits of the Chanel Cole Variety Show. and to rapturous applause, CHANEL COLE bounds on stage. CUT TO the interior of the production truck, as MARIANNE BUCK is handing out instructions.

MARIANNE: OK, I want you to showcase my robots as best you can OK? When they come out to sing Boom Boom Beat, on the second line, you cut straight to a close up of their eyes OK? That's very important.

PRODUCER: Sure, no worries? Anything else?

MARIANNE: No, that's it, the rest of the show will take of itself.

CUT TO CHANEL COLE standing smiling having just told a joke that's gone down well.

CHANEL: Hey, we've got a great show for you tonight! BERT Newton, Rolf Harris and up next the Hi-5 robots! They are gonna sing Boom Boom Beat for you!

CUT TO the production box where MARIANNE is rubbing her hands. Suddenly, HI 5, AVRIL, SIMONE, BOOF and JENNIE storm into the box, and encircle a smiling MARIANNE. NATHAN is puffed out.

MARIANNE: (Faking concern) Bit tuckered mate?

NATHAN: A...little...winded...

JENNIE: How could you! How could you say I had served my purpose!

MARIANNE: TWO people can't run the world! Don't be silly!

TIM: Look, there's 9 of us, and 1 of you, just tell us what the word is, and we'll not...

MARIANNE: Hurt me? That'd do a lot for your already non existent image...face it, you got here too late...I'll never give you the password...

JENNIE: I know what it is...it's Buck, her surname!

MARIANNE: You idiot...you really think I'd leave it the same and give you the chance to get one up on me

(MARIANNE walks up to JENNIE and looks her in the eyes)

MARIANNE: I don't think so...5 seconds until we come back from the break...this is such a beautiful moment...I might as well tell you...the password to stop the robots performing...it is this...

(MARIANNE holds up a jelly bean)

MARIANNE: The flavour of this jelly bean...and even I don't know what it is, I threw away the packet! You'd need an EXPERT to guess what it is!

(Everyone looks at NATHAN who is puffed out on the floor)

KELLI: WELL!

NATHAN: I'm fine thanks for asking...maybe need some water...

AVRIL: YOU BENNY!

CUT TO Chanel on the studio floor who's introducing the Hi-5 robots. There is no sound in the film as NATHAN is motioning he is FINE. The robots wheel out on to the stage as the crowd goes nuts. TIM and KATHLEEN are trying to alert NATHAN about the jellybean. NATHAN finally realises what's happening as the robots take position. He sprints up and grabs the jellybean off a distracted MARIANNE and puts it in his mouth, and chews slowly with a faraway look on his face. SIMONE then runs up with JENNIE and restrains MARIANNE as NATHAN keeps chewing. KELLI looks anxiously out onto the stage as the robots do the first line of Boom Boom Beat. AVRIL slaps her head. NATHAN looks out onto the stage with a bemused look on his face as the sound comes back on.

NATHAN: Butterscotch and Lime Rind? What kind of sicko makes that?

As the Hi-5 ers look out onto the stage, the robots are one the second line of Boom Boom Beat (Feel the thumping rhythm) but on the word thumping, they stop, and begin to stagger. CHANEL gets out of her chair and looks across anxiously. Smoke starts coming out of the NATHAN robot, then a spring pops out of the head of the CHARLI robot. The TIM robot has a mild explosion, then the KELLI and KATHLEEN robots start spinning wildly, until the head of the KELLI robot falls off, as CHANEL motions for a cut to a commercial.

CUT TO the production box as everyone is looking out on the stage. MARIANNE tries to run out but AVRIL trips her up and sits on her back.

AVRIL: I'm a BAD BITCH! BAD BAD!

KELLI walks up to NATHAN and gives him a hug. NATHAN is still looking aghast at the horrible jellybean he has just swallowed. BOOF takes CHARLI by the hand, and looks at her in the eyes.

BOOF: So how about we make our second date a lot better?

(CHARLI leans over and motions to kiss BOOF but then stops and starts laughing hysterically)

CHARLI: I get it now! Ha HA! One brilliant flash and it's gone! Your so FUNNY!

(CHARLI leans over and gives BOOF a big kiss as KELLI and KATHLEEN purr approvingly. MARIANNE hisses at AVRIL who hisses right back at her.)

EXT. Of the Channel 9 building as Hi-5 get out a stretch limo. Their fans are all over them as they get out of the car. The screen fades to black as text explaining what has happened to ev

HI-5 were embraced as heroes for saving the world, and toured to national acclaim. Nathan was knighted, but mis-understood, and turned out in a real knights costume. People loved him even more.

Tim got a job as Davids replacement on the Movie Show. He has never given a film 5 stars. Kathleen made her classical album, and it went to #1, replacing the new Liz Phair album. It was replaced at #1 by Kelli and a re-formed Teen Queens, but it turn was replaced by Simone's album, "Mardy Blonde Girl", and with the proceeds, Simone bought Channel 9. Charli and Boof got married in the society wedding of the year. Charli just got two of Boofs jokes from their engagement party during the ceremony. Avril meanwhile, just stayed a bad bitch.

MARIANNE BUCK was sent to jail for 200 years for conspiracy to take over the world. Despite what Nathan thought, it really was Marianne, not old Mr Johnson from the fairground. JENNIE was given community service, building toasters for old ladies.

Most importantly - Hi-5 learned to work as a team. And that there truly is no I in team...

NATHAN: (Bounding into shot) BORING! Let's just DANCE!

(Hi-5 bounce into shot and dance to "Hide Your Eyes" over the closing credits.

(End of rough draft)